war all of the time zero

[run]
[log on]
"have you ever been in love? horrible, isnt it? it makes you so vulnerable. it opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. you build up all these defenses. you build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...

you give them a piece of you. they dont ask for it. they do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isnt your own anymore. love takes hostages. it gets inside you. it eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

it hurts. not just in the imagination. not just in the mind. its a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. but do i hate love? never."

this post is almost entirely ripped off jr's blog, so props to him and april (who showed him the passage) and the bril person who came up with such a profound and insightful description of love. speaking of him and april. for an ac person, i've never really liked ac people. that said, they're pretty cool. i don't know april that well, and that's just my loss. my impression of april has always been that she's bohemian. haha. it's very infectious, even being around her for a short period of time. it's a very free spirited vibe. jr is just The Dude. and like The Dude, he Abides. i can count the number of ac people i actually really like on one hand i think. maybe two. haha. cheers!

[log off]
[exit]

said |d| at 12:45 PM [^]
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i would've written more earlier except that i've had nothing to write about recently. life goes on as usual, fairly back to normal - if there even is such a thing as normality in day to day existence. no more middle-of-the-week breaks. back to band practices a couple of times a week. gig on the 9th. two gigs each day on the 24th and 25th. acoustic thing this saturday. the excitement is killing me. it's really fucking murdering me.

something one of my buddies said to me really struck me as profound. he said as we get older and more successful, people start to throw themselves at you. at that point, do you know if their affections are real? you know true love is when you're short, fat, ugly, poor, and have a drooling problem, and she still loves you. but what about when you're rich, successful, and you drive a lotus? aha! they come a'flocking. and perhaps it's all pretense. but we settle for what we're given because at some point most people want to have kids and if there's nobody they love they tend to settle for whoever's around as a matter of convenience.

cynical, it's true. but you know what? i completely buy it.

soon, the student will become the master.

said |d| at 4:24 PM [^]
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said |d| at 2:48 PM [^]
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wow i have no fucking clie whetats gpoing on. what a night. doof friends good times. can't bnelieve it's beem 9 hears since secondarty 1? 1995? or "96. but still 8 or 9 years and shit i'm getting old. wow. ani and weide and keith are still insane. damn some things kjstu never chnge. 3dash1 is such a good band! talk abotu dilated pupils. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. mmmmmmmmmmmm. yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

today's listening list:

"she's perfect and how would she know?
would someone please please let her know,
let her know,
when she waaaaaaaaaaalks,
she makes me go wooooooooooooah"
- 3Dash1, When She Walks

"Don't turn around
I'm sick and I'm tired of your face
Don't make this worse
You've already gone and got me mad
It's too bad I'm not sad
It's casting over
It's just one of those things
You'll have to get over it"
- avril lavigne, get over it

i like avril. she can sing!!!!

said |d| at 3:37 AM [^]
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right now i'm thinking "whatever, fuckit". and now i'm thinking, "don't be a stupid ass". the running commentary on my thoughts would probably be a confusing read...probably more confusing and boring than Kant if that's even possible, because they go back and forth over the same things over and over again. my top 10 list of things (not in order of importance):

10. should i get a new blog so i can post what i think without people reading it? it'd be unfortunate to call some dude a little pansy only to find out he read it. the biggest problem with people reading your blog and knowing it's you is that you have to censor yourself constantly. i'm considering just posting everything i feel like saying here though, and if people don't like it they can fuck off, but at the moment that seems unlikely.
9. should i get rid of my cellphone?
8. should i walk off? is it worth being so invested? but more importantly, do i really want to? and if i do walk off, should i study in the UK or the US? haha. that last bit was a joke. i think.
7. why are the computer mouses here so damn dirty?
6. where can i buy, and how much are rubber chickens? i want to walk into a supermarket and go to the meat section and ask the lady for a rubber chicken. roasted, preferably. this is a necessary ingredient for a crazy and highly suspect party.
5. i need to get new batteries for almost all my watches.
4. where are all the crazy people at? surely there must be some people in singapore who like to party. and by party i don't mean stand around and bob heads like at zouk. by party i mean get wrecked, dance like hooligans or P Diddy's backup dancers, and generally have fun. there must be people like that somewhere. my investigation into this secretive underground organization continues.
3. who wants to hit up the 6th ave ice cream place? w00t.
2. why is the pagani zonda so expensive? it's not that cute, although 1 - 100 in 3.8 seconds is sick. it makes ferraris look ghey.
1. what happened to howard dean IIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA! (click here to hear his infamous screaming, red-faced rant!!!!!! bring tp. you may shit yourself.)


<><><><><><><><><><>

"i don't want you
to say sorry
it does nothing at all
i want you
to keep trying
don't sit there and let us fall

and in my life
i've been searching
for something that's pure and true
in my life
i've been waiting
for someone as good as you

don't give up
don't give up
don't give up
don't give up
don't give up"
- drunk on the cutt, interlude 16

said |d| at 10:40 AM [^]
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perhaps the silence says it all.

said |d| at 11:57 PM [^]
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wtf was i thinking? i'm a sexy bitch!

said |d| at 10:07 PM [^]
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ugh. friday...the weekend is coming. the weekend.........the weekend. i need sleep. and food. and a holiday from life.

a beach in the middle of nowhere. me, an acoustic guitar with strings that won't break, the beach, sunny weather, and a hammock. some food, some wine, warm shower water, a cellphone that i'll keep off unless i want to call anyone, and a pair of comfy shoes. a computer (because music and the internet are my drugs), some chocolate, my sunnies, and some sunblock. a place nearby where i can eat simple, good food.

no people who are looking for me for whatever reason. no phonecalls asking for me. no "we need to do this" and "we need to do that" and "we need to talk about this".

just peace and the quiet sound of little waves breaking on the beach.

said |d| at 2:09 AM [^]
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r.i.p. :(

those who knew you miss you; those who didn't know you wish they had the chance. give strength to your loved ones. they need you now.

"an empty chair at all the tables
and i'll be seeing you when all my days boil down.
for now we'll say goodbye
we know it's not the last time
i've lost the best part of my day
but it's better where you're going anyway"
- new found glory, sonny

said |d| at 10:10 PM [^]
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i like burger king

said |d| at 1:14 AM [^]
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life is funny like that.

said |d| at 1:22 AM [^]
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well it seems that the phillipines has really cheap acoustic guitars and some active volcanos and some of the guys are interested in going to the phillipines maybe for an extended weekend in december. i think it sounds awesome. i think i'm gonna consider doing a trip up there. it'll probably be absolutely insane going on a trip like that with the fellas and who knows? i may come back with a sweet acoustic guitar. hehe. ohhh yeah. i love music.

said |d| at 6:51 PM [^]
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She may be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in many years
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is she
- elvis costello, she

said |d| at 11:10 PM [^]
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went to a birthday party yesterday, and then went to go see the worst movie ever made with Ian, Chris and Daphney. Daphney now has waves in her hair, somewhat reminiscent of those classic Victorian hairdos. actually, her hair kinda looks like Michelle Chia's now. it's looks very cool on her. met Ian's sister Ally and spoke to her briefly before the movie. i didn't realize she was the mighty Ally of the tales Ian and Chris had told before until right before we split. we originally intended to watch the Chronicles Of Riddick, which we were sure would be a bad but entertaining movie. however, it was 12.30 and all the Chronicles movies had already started at around midnight. so we just got tickets for the next intereting-sounding movie that none of us had seen, which turned out to be Undead.

Undead sucks. Ever seen Army of Darkness? or Kung Pow? those are bad movies, but at least they're somewhat entertaining. Undead is the most cheesy, plotless, badly-acted movie ever made. so much so that Ian walked out after a while, and Chris, Daphney and I walked out after an hour of it. and we weren't the only people who left. this movie was funny for the first 15 minutes because we didn't know what to expect and it was so bad it had funny moments. but after that it was absolute trash. it became immensely painful to sit through. thank god we didn't sit throught the whole thing.

listening list:
This is How It Goes - Billy Talent
The Greatest Fall (Of All Time) - Matchbook Romance
There Is - Boxcar Racer
Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

said |d| at 6:51 PM [^]
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my friend's sister is very very sick. she's my sister's age.....just a few months older. she was fine...and then last monday she felt weird. by wednesday she was in the ICU. they're calling it dengue hemmoragic shock. i really hope she gets better. she's having multi-organ failure. this is horrible. it's pretty terrifying that one day you're fine and healthy and within a week you're fighting for your life. and it can happen to anyone. i hope she gets better.

said |d| at 12:56 PM [^]
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congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

god i love these quizzes they're so silly wow i love fridays cause its the start of the weekend ok i'll post something later maybe if im in and stuff and have the energy to post so until then keep it real homie bears and watch lots of MacGyver and stuff because science is cool and useful and it rocks like lettuce and mullets and punk music and fusion and your mom and subways subs with hot meatballs and lots of black pepper and cheesy cheese

rox0r on l33t rox0rs.

w00t!

said |d| at 3:18 PM [^]
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heads up, all!

GIG ALERT!!! SHARE IS LOVE
drunk on the cutt is playing SHARE IS LOVE
venue: third place
date: july 9th
time: 5pm (dotc plays at 9.45pm)
price: $6
other bands: all countries, press play, midnight is never tender, dead end, and the nope!!

come down, it'll be fun. :)
cheers.

said |d| at 1:14 AM [^]
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i just watched the finale of Average Joe, and the lady (i forget her name) picked the stud over Adam, who's big enough to be a stud, he's not fat or bad looking or anything, and he's very successful and funny. i couldn't believe it. i am still just....really fucking stunned. maybe good looking guys always finish first and average joes always finish last. maybe it doesn't pay to be the nice guy. maybe it's really not worth being the nice guy. of course, this is a "reality" tv show and as we all know, reality shows are all pissant bullshit staged crap. but the one real element of the shows, that nobody can stage, is the way people feel about each other. and she picked the guy she felt for, and it wasn't the nice guy average joe, despite all her bullshit about loving him, it was the ben-affleck-lookalike who's a black hole for personality, 26 and still a student and waiter, instead of the funny, friendly, sweet 27-year old successful millionaire who's really not that bad looking.

wow, the finale really shocked me. i guess nice guys do finish last.

gah. i hope it turns out that the ben-affleck guy is gay or at least plays her on the side. and Adam's gonna have a line of gorgeous women at his door when he gets home off the "rejected" bus. haHA!!

said |d| at 11:50 PM [^]
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here's a little updated romeo and juliet for all you shakespeare fans out there. i know there's a lot of you because only geeks blog and read blogs. jocks aren't smart enough to engage in such educated drivel. it's fux0ring l33t.

said |d| at 9:52 PM [^]
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when there's nothing left to do but exist, sometimes the only thing left to do is have hope.

said |d| at 6:03 PM [^]
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i watched you sit alone,
i watched you cry your eyes out
now tell me what you've done

is it so bad that
i would shut you out and
leave you here alone?
- plumb, phobic

on my way to camp today, listening to a sad violin on the classical music channel, i realized that the reason why celebrities make me feel uneasy is that they're middle aged and many of them are single. like janet jackson. she's 40 something isn't she? and yet...it seems like she has no stable family. i don't know if she has kids. she seems alone. and she's 40.

i've often wondered what hell is like. is it all just fire and brimstone, or is there a hell constructed for each one of us, based on the things we fear the most? my personal hell is one of isolation. while i enjoy being by myself on occasion so i can think and relax, i hate being alone. if god (or the devil) could construct me my very own hell, it'd be a world with no music, no sounds at all, no people, no photos, only memories.

and then i realized that i don't want to be 40 and alone. as much as i've said i don't ever want kids, i can't imagine myself being old and without kids or a family. perhaps i actually do want kids, and a family. and if i have kids, i don't want to be dying when they hit their 20s. i want to be young enough so they can talk to me like a person and not a fragile, wrinkled mummy. and i guess this means by the time i'm 30 i should be starting a family. maybe this is something i never wanted to admit i wanted until just now.

wow.

said |d| at 11:25 PM [^]
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there is no better.




fuck!

said |d| at 2:50 AM [^]
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alright! lots of little changes to the drunk on the cutt site!! we added a page of song lyrics and a gig updater so come check it out and get...uh....updated. yeah, that's it. updated. make sure you leave a note saying hi if you visit the site!! we like notes from friends. :D it's only monday but i'm dying for the weekend already. shite. i'm dying for a lot of things.

there was a boy once, who drank beer and ate cheese. he dined often, and enjoyed his food and drink immensely. one day he picked up a block of particularly smelly cheese. he cut it open with a sharp knife and found fungus growing inside, as is sometimes the case with smelly cheeses. he consumed a large, generous slice of cheese. suddenly he felt a lurching, searing pain coming from the pit of his stomach. the pain slowly extended its grasp down his legs and up to his shoulders. the boy lifted up his shirt and watched as his skin started to turn flakey. the bluish-green fungus consumed him quickly and silently...save for his laboured, pained breathing.
- bedtime stories for the kids.

said |d| at 2:25 AM [^]
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hehehehe.


Bondage Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there was a boy who fell in love with a star. he wished every night that he could reach out and take the star and hold on to it tightly, because he didn't want it to disappear the next day. he grew up loving the star and eventually became an astronaught. one day he got into his space ship and flew towards the star. he flew as fast as he could, because it was very far away. as he approached, he started to realize it wasn't a star. it was a planet. and he was going so fast that he couldn't slow down quickly enough to avoid the planet's gravity well. and he got sucked in, and he crashed, and the poisonous gases of the planet dissolved his insides slowly as he lay there in the wreckage.
- bedtime tales for the kiddies.

said |d| at 8:34 PM [^]
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ok i just kinda threw together a drunk on the cutt website. the link is on the horizontal link bar next to the snixtyx link. my eyes are about to pop out. crash and burn, people. better to go out with a bang than to fade away. it currently a temporary site (though honestly you never know) and since it was just thrown together, watch for changes. all the guys from drunk on the cutt will be posting there too. BYE!!!!!!!!!!! *&@#^@%#@#%^)*@&#^(@&%@&*#%@#&%^@#%^$@#*&^@#_*^@#&^@#%@*+_@#&@#*%@#$@

said |d| at 3:36 AM [^]
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went out with nathan and chris again today. played computer games, hung out, watched The Pinholes. interesting band. unique singer. very cool sound. we nicknamed them the Mod Squad for their tight pants, huge sideburns, and aviator sunglasses. we went to subway for dinner, for some pseudo-american food. pretty much the reverse of american chinese food, Subway is the immitation american "healthy fastfood" that singapore makes. they should actually call it Sugway, kinda like how fake Tommy Hilfiger goes by names like Tommy HitTiger or Tommy Pullfinger. over dinner, chris and i enjoyed a strange conversation about his potential bachelor pad. here's an excerpt. the entire time, nathan is laughing his ass off. quietly, as my conservative cousin is wont to do. i bet he has a wild streak. when he turns 18 he's gonna be all freaky cool and shit. sweet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chris: ...and i'm gonna completely turn it into a fucken sweet bachelor pad! i'm gonna have two refrigerators; one for microwavable tv dinners and top ramen and shit and one for alcohol!!

me: dude, microwavable dinners suck, i used to make'em in college. what about real food? what about when girls come over? they may be more impressed if you can cook some real food. like chicken and ham and shit.

chris: dude, fuck that. i'll have potato chips and ham and shit in the fridge and if they ask me where the real food is, i'll say "get the fuck outta my house biatch!" i'll put [something something] in the vegetable chiller and...

me: dude you should put a rubber chicken in the vege chiller.

chris:...and if they ask me for lettuce i'll tell them to get the fuck outta my house!

me: you could give them the rubber chicken from the vegetable chiller. the chick'll say "hey, do you have any real food, like lettuce?" and you can say "ok" and give her the rubber chicken. then when she says "what the fuck? i asked for lettuce!", you can say "oh you wanted lettuce? i thought you said you wanted a rubber chicken"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in other news, The Punisher was a sadistic, but rather enjoyable movie. this isn't to say we're all sadists (those of us who enjoyed the movie) but rather to say that it was probably enjoyable for us to live our lives vicariously through the Punisher. at some point in our lives i'm sure we all wish we could wreck slow and painful vengeance on people who have hurt us. sometimes we want to gun people down or rip people apart slowly, exerting unimaginable physical pain. other times perhaps we feel tempted to cause intense mental anguish. string people along until you find the perfect moment to break them...and then break them and watch them fall apart. vengeance is sweet and best served cold, as they say. the punisher, i think, is great fun to watch for those of us who wish we could live outside the law. for those of us who want to punish someone. for those of us who want to see people punished.

and of course, for people like me who just like to watch movies with big explosions.

"oooooh dude, the dude just got blown off that pier!!"
"oooooh. woah."
"holy shit."
"dude. i bet that'd suck."
"yeah, no shit sherlock."

said |d| at 11:05 PM [^]
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phobic
don't be
grace needs a little more freedom
phobic
don't be
love needs room to breathe
- plumb, phobic

said |d| at 11:49 AM [^]
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Ganesha: Lord of Categories. Ganesha (also known as Ganapati) is the Lord of Categories. everything that can be comprehended or counted is known as a category (gana). the principle of all classifications through which the relationships between different things can be understood (e.g. microcosm vs macrocosm) is called the lord of categories. the lord of categories is the visible form of the principle, and embodies the creator, sustainer, and destroyer, and is the true Self; the Principle-of-All. Ganesha is also sometimes called Vighneshvara, the Lord and Destroyer of Obstacles. He is also the god of Education, Knowledge, Wisdom, Literature, and the Fine Arts.

i don't think i'm Ganesha dude. *grin*

however, if you're really interested in the meaning of names, here's the meaning of mine. i'll admit, this is wildly indulgent of me, but that said, it's fairly interesting too.

dharma: (Sanskrit) "Righteousness." From dhri, "to sustain; carry, hold." Hence dharma is "that which contains or upholds the cosmos." Dharma, religion, is a complex and all-inclusive term with many meanings, including: divine law, law of being, way of righteousness, religion, ethics, duty, responsibility, virtue, justice, goodness and truth. Essentially, dharma is the orderly fulfillment of an inherent nature or destiny. Relating to the soul, it is the mode of conduct most conducive to spiritual advancement, the right and righteous path. There are four principal kinds of dharma, as follows. They are known collectively as --chaturdharma: "four religious laws." 1) --rita: "Universal law." The inherent order of the cosmos. The laws of being and nature that contain and govern all forms, functions and processes, from galaxy clusters to the power of mental thought and perception. 2) --varna dharma: (Sanskrit) "Law of one's kind." Social duty. Varna can mean "race, tribe, appearance, character, color, social standing, etc." Varna dharma defines the individual's obligations and responsibilities within the nation, society, community, class, occupational subgroup and family. An important part of this dharma is religious and moral law. 3) ashrama dharma: "Duties of life's stages." Human or developmental dharma. The natural process of maturing from childhood to old age through fulfillment of the duties of each of the four stages of life--brahmachari (student), grihastha (householder), vanaprastha (elder advisor) and sannyasa (religious solitaire)--in pursuit of the four human goals: dharma (righteousness), artha (wealth), kama (pleasure) and moksha (liberation). 4) svadharma: "Personal path, pattern or obligation." One's perfect individual pattern through life, according to one's own particular physical, mental and emotional nature. Svadharma is determined by the sum of past karmas and the cumulative effect of the other three dharmas. It is the individualized application of dharma, dependent on personal karma, reflected on one's race, community, physical characteristics, health, intelligence, skills and aptitudes, desires and tendencies, religion, sampradaya, family and guru.

Within ashrama dharma, the unique duties of man and woman are respectively called stri dharma and purusha dharma. --purusha dharma: "Man's duty." Man's proper pattern of conduct; traditional observances, vocation, behavior and attitudes dictated by spiritual wisdom. Characterized by leadership, integrity, accomplishment, sustenance of the family. Notably, the married man works in the world and sustains his family as abundantly as he can. --stri dharma: (Sanskrit) "Woman's duty." Traditional conduct, observances, vocational and spiritual patterns which bring spiritual fulfillment and societal stability. Characterized by modesty, quiet strength, religiousness, dignity and nurturing of family. Notably, she is most needed and irreplaceable as the maker of the home and the educator of their children as noble citizens of tomorrow.

A part of the varna dharma of each person is sadharana dharma--the principles of good conduct applicable to all people regardless of age, gender or class. --sadharana dharma: "Duties applicable to all." Listed in the Manu Shastras as: dhairya (steadfastness), kshama (forgiveness), dama (self-restraint), chauryabhava (nonstealing), shaucha (cleanliness), indriyanigraha (sense control), dhi (high-mindedness), vidya (learning), satya (veracity), akrodha (absence of anger). Another term for such virtues is --samanya dharma: "general duty," under which scriptures offer similar lists of ethical guidelines. These are echoed and expanded in the yamas and niyamas, "restraints and observances."

One other important division of dharma indicates the two paths within Hinduism, that of the family person, the grihastha dharma, and that of the monastic, the sannyasa dharma. --grihastha dharma: "Householder duty." The duties, ideals and responsibilities of all nonmonastics, whether married or unmarried. This dharma, which includes the vast majority of Hindus, begins when the period of studentship is complete and extends until the end of life. See: grihastha dharma. --sannyasa dharma: "Monastic duty." Above and beyond all the other dharmas ("ati-varnashrama dharma") is sannyasa dharma--the ideals, principles and rules of renunciate monks. It is the highest dharma.

--apad dharma: "Emergency conduct." This dharma embodies the principle that the only rigid rule is wisdom, and thus exceptional situations may require deviating from normal rules of conduct, with the condition that such exceptions are to be made only for the sake of others, not for personal advantage. These are notable exceptions, made in cases of extreme distress or calamity.

--adharma: "Unrighteousness." Thoughts, words or deeds that transgress divine law in any of the human expressions of dharma. It brings the accumulation of demerit, called papa, while dharma brings merit, called punya. Varna adharma is violating the ideals of social duty, from disobeying the laws of one's nation to squandering family wealth. Ashrama adharma is failure to fulfill the duties of the stages of life. Sva-adharma is understood as not fulfilling the patterns of dharma according to one's own nature. The Bhagavad Gita states (18.47), "Better one's svadharma even imperfectly performed than the dharma of another well performed. By performing the duty prescribed by one's own nature (svabhava) one incurs no sin (kilbisha)."

the definition of "dharma" is courtesy of Himalayan Academy Publications

reeses.

said |d| at 5:57 PM [^]
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deadend's set yesterday was awesome as always. they had a new song called "i like boys" which was hilarious. :D i had red wine after that and was pretty wrecked. partly cause my tolerance level has gone down since i haven't had alcohol in such a very long time, and also partly because i took it on an empty stomach. and of course, partly because it's red wine. i also finally spoke to the girls from Areala (an all-girl punk/rock band here in sunny singapore) because i'd like to see them gig. and also cause their name reminds me of areola. i forgot to mention that to them, though. i should do it next time. so i made my way home and tried to pretend i wasn't intoxicated because my mom and sis were there. it was pretty hilarious. i made my way back to camp eventually and went straight to bed because i was completely knocked out. tomorrow drunk on the cutt has an acoustic set somewhere in orchard road. if you're interested, drop a note on the tag board so i know who to get to about the venue once i find out where we'll be playing. or you can always just drop me an sms. oh yeah, got a call from bella a short while ago. it's been such a very long time since i last spoke to her. she invited me to a party. awesome!! but i can't go, i'm on duty tonight. well, another time perhaps. she's coming for tomorrow's dotc gig though. very cool. there should be a decent crowd tomorrow because it's orchard and the bands playing tomorrow are all really good, and we're all very cool and goodlooking.

ha. haha. hahahahaha.

today's listening list:
*silence*

said |d| at 5:31 PM [^]
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today's listening list:
plumb - boys don't cry
plumb - phobic
maroon 5 - this love

said |d| at 12:29 PM [^]
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"most predators prefer the coolness of their night to do their hunting."
- discovery channel.

haha. hahahahaha.

said |d| at 1:10 AM [^]
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i jammed with chris and mark today for 2 hours. we did acoustic stuff in preparation for the acoustic gig chris put together for street fest. it was a lot of fun to take our songs and slow them down and play them acoustically. it gave the songs a very different feel...it's nice to disguise your lyrics and hide them behind a wall of distortion. but when you play acoustic....every word of your song lies there naked and exposed, and all of a sudden the song you wrote about someone you love, or someone you hate, or something you love, or something you hate becomes more real than it's ever been. your feelings, your emotions, the things you always wanted to say but never knew how to say in person are being sung to others.

it's weird. it's uncomfortable. it's vulnerable. it's scary.

it's also quite beautiful.

said |d| at 11:34 PM [^]
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"you are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true"
- Richard Bach

"Love is more than an emotion. It is a force of nature and therefore must contain truth."
- Deepak Chopra

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Winston Churchill

"You simply will something to happen...and then speak the word. If your will is strong enough, it happens."
"When you get right down to it, nothing--or at least very little--is actually impossible."
- David Eddings

"I hate quotations"
- Emerson

"Don't find fault. Find a remedy"
- Henry Ford

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
- Jeff Foxworthy

"Almost anything that you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."
- M. K. Ghandi

"Not where we stand, but in what direction we are moving."
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
- Goethe

"Adulthood comes when you can see just how screwed your parents are."
- Lana Jackman

"It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour."
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
- Thomas Jefferson

"I am only one; still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do."
- Hellen Keller

"I never lie when I've got sand in my shoes, Commodore."
"Just because something's old doesn't mean you throw it away."
- Geordie LaForge

"In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?"
- Jay Leno

said |d| at 11:59 PM [^]
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10 Years Ago, I...
1. was 11 going on 12.
2. wore really huge glasses.
3. was annoyed that singaporeans called the cafeteria the "canteen". a canteen is a type of bottle.

5 Years Ago, I...
1. left singapore and went to university.
2. flew kites all day in the spring from the top of Mt. David with friends.
3. rediscovered mexican food.

3 Years Ago, i...
1. shared my first kiss.
2. lived in a room the size of a glorified broom closet.
3. played in an alternative band.

A Year Ago, I...
1. joined a punk band in singapore.
2. graduated.
3. was addicted to chicken rice.

So Far This Year, I...
1. have joined a fusion band as well.
2. seen more skinheads than i ever wanted to.
3. visited australia for the first time in....probably over 10 years.

Yesterday, I...
1. slept in.
2. had dinner with my grandma.
3. had high tea with my family.

Today, I...
1. was at work.
2. worked.
3. discovered i can log on to MSN Messenger via my cellphone.

Tomorrow, I will...
1. be at work.
2. work.
3. have breakfast for a change.

said |d| at 7:30 PM [^]
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mr. dharma: awesome. can he sing? is he in a band or anything?
scud: well he can but i thought of letting that poor lonely chinese guy sing on stage cause he doesn't have a band


LOL! quote of the day!!!

said |d| at 11:56 PM [^]
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couples....families....friends, don't bond because they enjoy life. they bond because they endure life. together.

said |d| at 9:04 PM [^]
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oh yeah, harry potter and the prizoner of azkeban is awesome. 'nuff said.

oh....actually....it's awesome....but i almost think the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is better. it's more intellectual to be sure. definitely not the midless entertainment harry potter is.

said |d| at 3:48 AM [^]
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interesting day. so i went for a quick band practice this morning and then popped back to drop off my equipment, and headed out again to a music equipment warehouse sale. those guitar salesmen f*****s are so snotty. i won't mention the name of the shop, but i think most of you musicians in singapore will know the one i'm talking about. anyway some dude asked if he could help me in that snotty "can i help you?" way. i wasn't in the mood for his sh!t so i told him i was wondering what the best guitar deal there was, and he asked what my budget is, like snotty salesmen do. i told him "don't worry about the budget. just worry about the guitars." after that he was extremely helpful and exceedingly polite. oh pooh pooh! why can't they treat everyone that nicely? i did buy some stuff though, and after getting home from the warehouse, treated my guitars to a lovely shiny polishing and some fretboard conditioner love while restringing my schecter in preparation for the orchard road gig.

chris and i hit up orchard and saw a bunch of people there who'd come to see snixtyx play. thing is, we were going to play at 7.30. we got there at 6.30. some of these guys had been there since 5 or earlier. amazing. i didn't know people dug us that much. (maybe they weren't there for us. ha!) the girls from Areala were there (i keep thinking it's Areola, which is the fleshy part of the breast around the nipple) to see the gig, as well as a bunch of guys from 3DASH1, One Inch Punch, One Wrong Turn, and a bunch of other people. Sarah, Liz and Saurabh came, which was awesome. Liz has a great tan from Koh Samui. jr and Syah came, and they got a special shoutout. Brian from Deadend and his girlfriend came after the show, as did Janus. Mark and Ian were no-shows. Daniel from secondary school saw us play which was really weird. i hadn't spoken to him in forever. actually, i didn't remember his name till much later after i'd finished talking to him. the gig went fairly well, except that apparently the guitars were a bit too soft and the snare drum wasn't mic-ed, which is bogus and stupid, and reflects poorly on the soundman's competence. apparently the singapore street fest hires the worst sound-people ever, according to some of the guys who've taken part in it before. ghey.

lawrence met a guy who recognized the band during dinner at cineleisure BK, about 50m from where we did our gig. the creepy thing was that the guy said he didn't see our cineleisure gig. he actually REMEMBERED us from the sentosa gig we did last month. wow. cool. kinda creepy, but cool. i like fans. they're cool.

after that chris and i went to a bar to meet his dad. we sat down and had some beers. i had a corona...something i haven't had since university. i haven't had beer in ages. almost a year now, probably. it was pretty nice. i won't start drinking beer over hard alcohol when i go to clubs or pubs, but i guess it was a good change from the usual hard alcohol or mixed drink thing. not that i go to clubs or pubs a whole lot anyway. chris's dad is very cool. so we sat around and talked about all sorts of stuff; mostly music. later chris and i headed to a playground to hang out and we talked about politics and rich people with bad attitudes and apathy and skinheads and playgrounds and more music before heading off. we also discussed the possibility of doing an unplugged gig with a bunch of bands to raise funds for a charity during this singapore street festival. it'd be fun because we'd have metal bands like One Wrong Turn and punk bands like 3DASH1 doing acoustic sets along with maybe All Countries and Drunk On The Cutt (my fusion band). i don't think any of us have ever done acoustic sets before with our bands here in singapore, let alone a gig where all the bands play their stuff unplugged. it'd be rad. thanks to everyone who came down to see the show. :)

even if you did come after the show was over.

it was a long day.

goodnight, all.

said |d| at 3:46 AM [^]
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saw harry potter last night. will post more later. need to rush for some pre-show prepping with the band. BYE.

said |d| at 10:25 AM [^]
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brrrrr. it's windy today. it's so cold i'm actually shivering as i write this. met with ms ma for lunch yesterday and then chilled with daphney for a short while. she taught me how to make a really cool paper plane. i'll be trying to make one of my own later. it looks hard. then we headed to the One Inch Punch gig in orchard road at faber house. they had some tuning problems and technical difficulties, but as i said, a band without a bad set is like a tall midget. nonexistent. then i met up with jr and we hung out the rest of the night. he's a good guy. i haven't figured out what to do today...i need to sit down and think about my future. that is, whether or not i want to go to med school, law school, or work after NS and then go for an MBA. my ultimate want has always been to go into business, and according to my dad, it's not worth studying medicine or law if you don't plan to practice. my mom begs to differ. both of them have good arguments for both opinions, so i need to sit down and think about this. i have band practice tonight with Snixtyx. it should be interesting because one of their original guitarists is in singapore and we're gonna jam with him. he may play with us tomorrow, which........could be cool. in any case, i just hope we don't fuck up too much tomorrow, that's all. i'm reading a book called Do Penguins Have Knees? and it tries to answer questions like that; all the things we think are weird and absurd but can't figure out an answer to. i'm also reading a book on greek history, which is neat because i may be going to turkey and visiting Troy at the end of the year.

deserts that i like:
1. dark chocolates.
2. chocolate ice cream.
3. big semi-sweet bananas.
4. durian.

listening list:
1. dashboard confessional - ender will save us all.
2. lifehouse - everything.

reading list:
1. the childrens brittanica volume 1
2. do penguins have knees?
3. exploring the world of the ancient greeks

movies-to-see list:
1. the punisher
2. harry potter and the prizoner of azkeban
3. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (again, perhaps?)

said |d| at 1:57 PM [^]
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How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day.

- from eloisa to abelard by alexander pope
full version here

on a side note, the miss universe pageant is proof conclusive that god exists and is male.

said |d| at 11:26 PM [^]
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THE PUNISHER!!!!!!!!!
june 10th!!!!
*awesome!*

said |d| at 11:18 PM [^]
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look into my tired eyes
see someone you don't recognise
binds that can't be untied
oh this is slow suicide
feelings that i can't disguise
and never will be reconciled
oh something inside has died
ash
hm. i forget the song title.

said |d| at 3:32 PM [^]
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